meet Keener

Keener is the storyteller - he writes about everything the Tribers get up to

Well he would, wouldn’t he? He is a keener after all. Ever since they were small he’s been the hardworking one. He could read before he went to school, but he wouldn’t ever read anything out loud. He was too embarrassed. In Reception he sat at a table with Copper Pie, Bee and Fifty. They made a good team. Keener did the work, Fifty did the talking and Bee decided everything, like what they played at break and whose house they should go to for tea. Copper Pie picked on anyone who was mean to them. It’s still more or less the same, except now they’ve got Jonno too. He does two jobs, coming up with ideas and making plans.

facts about Keener

family

He has two very annoying sisters. The little one, Flo, is bossy, clever, cute (if you don’t know her) and tells lies. The big one, Amy, is from another planet, called 'Teenage Girls are Weird'. She’s got a boyfriend and she sits on his lap and watches telly. What’s wrong with the sofa? says Dad. Keener’s dad goes to work in an office. What he does there nobody knows. He goes on road trips with Keener to all the best surfing beaches, Woolacombe, Croyde, Polzeath. Those are good days. Keener’s mum is a doctor. Most people who go and see her haven’t got anything wrong with them, she says.

being ill in Keener’s house

If anyone dares say they’re not well they get given a vest and a spoon of pink medicine (Keener and Flo) or a red and yellow pill (Dad and Amy). To get a day off you’d have to have several serious symptoms like a sky-high temperature, world-coming-out-of-your-bottom diarrhoea AND weeping blisters.

Keener’s secret

His real name. Everyone is banned from using it because it’s so stupid. His parents must have been insane to have written it on his birth certificate. His passport is kept under lock and key so that as few people as possible ever find out what it is.

Keener's dream job

Triber of course.

Keener’s modelling tip (making models – not being a model)

Get a glue gun, beats PVA and Pritt sticks. Save all your rubbish even if you can’t see how it could possible ever be useful– everything from dead computers (great for taking apart) to bubblewrap.

likes and dislikes

He swims like a fish and surfs like a pro.
His surf hair – long, blonde, never ever combed.
He hates slime, goo, slugs, slug trails, basically anything sticky.
He spends hours on the computer – when he’s allowed.

Keener’s favourite stuff

Book – his pop-up dinosaur book (except most of them don’t pop up anymore).
Song – Lovely Day by Bill Withers (on the way to the beach in the car).
Clothes –Saltrock hoodie.
Food – bacon sarnies.
People – the Tribers.
Colour – green.
Game – Risk (but no one will ever play against him).
Animal – otter.
Car – VW camper van with a split windscreen aka Splitty.